Introduction:

Ah, yes. The good ol’ NLP. If this is your first time encountering such madness let me give you a brief rundown of what NLP is and how you can make drastic changes to the way you think using the tools it provides. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Say that 5 times fast with a mouthful of Big Mac. It has its origins rooted back in the 70’s when two very bright individuals, fed up with the current state of psychology set out to discover the difference that makes the difference.

In their genius, they studied individuals who were getting positive rather than negative results in life and came up with a systematic way to model the very patterns of thought these people were using.

This system if implemented will have a profound impact on your life and will often leave you wondering how you managed to survive without it. Anchoring is one of many neuro linguistic programming techniques which you can use to summon complete mastery over your state of mind.

What Is This Anchoring Nonsense?

Have you and a lover ever had a favorite song you listened to? Or maybe as a child your dad would mow the lawn and you would sit and bask in the aromatic fragrance of freshly cut grass? Years later do you not go right back to those memories when that song plays on the radio or when you smell that fresh scent of a neighbor trimming his front yard? Of course you do. These “moments” in NLP are called anchors.

Specific situations that trigger a past memory and the state of mind associated with that memory. The human mind loves to link this kind of stuff up and loves to surface the states of mind associated whenever these anchors are present. Good or bad, the mind is not biased like we are. Take a few minutes and see if you can come up with the anchors you un-concsiously generated in your life.

Anchoring States:

The cool thing about anchors in NLP is that once a state of mind is anchored, you can elicit this state anytime you need to. So how do you anchor a state? Simple. First, think of a state of mind that would benefit you in some situation. Confidence, bravery, fearlessness, or complete calmness and bliss are some states that you may find useful to have in a blink of an eye.

Now that you have an emotion to anchor, really get in touch with that feeling. Feel that energy in your entire body and soul and when you reach the peak of emotion, anchor the state with either a body gesture or a verbal word or phrase. For example, at the very pinnacle of bliss I may rub my hands together, stick my thumb out or utter some kind of word to “anchor” this behavior to the emotion I am feeling.

I tend to stick to subtle body gestures, as shouting or muttering a verbal sentence in public tends to attract confused stares from semi conscious hominids. repeat this process over and over until you really resonate with the anchor.

Testing the Anchor:

So how do you know if the anchoring exercise worked? Well, the simplest way is to get yourself into another state and “fire off” the anchor – the gesture or phrase that you used above. If you successfully anchored yourself, from a cannon you will undoubtedly be shot right into the heart of emotion. Yar mateys, we now be settin’ sail on the high seas of controlled consciousness! Anchors Aweigh my friends!

Wrapping It Up:

Anchoring is a very powerful tool and a technique I use frequently to get a handle on the vast array of emotions that are all too often encountered in day to day experiences. Yes, I may look odd giving the ceiling a hearty thumbs up in the middle of the supermarket but at least I will be in a state that is too blissful to care. Until next time.

-Adam

Panning my surroundings on a San Francisco Bart train early this morning I couldn’t help but feel that everyone was just way too happy. The whole atmosphere radiated positive vibrations and a soothing aura of complete and utter contentment burned like the fire of a thousand suns. “Something must be done.” I thought to myself. “These people are far too satisfied with their lives to be out in public like this.” Out of this madness I decided a good post on the art of unhappiness was in order. We would do good to put into practice these 6 key tips on a daily basis wherever we find ourselves. Lets get started.

1. Maintain a No Eye Contact Rule:

Seeing as how the eyes are the windows into ones soul, I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would want to make eye contact with any other hominid except your own reflection. As soon as you catch another man/womans piercing gaze, immediately dart your eyes down to the floor in shame. Alternatively you can pull out your smart phone and stare blankly at the screen until the offender has either walked away or stopped looking at you. (I recommend having your phone in-hand at all times just in case.)

2. No Touching:

If you ever so much as brush into anybody (skin to skin contact etc.) Apologize at once and be sure to follow step 1. In a land of upwards to 7 billion, we Hominids must never come into direct contact with a stranger as it is of the utmost disrespect. Touching signifies humanity in the highest form and we ought to steer clear if we are to lead an unnatural, miserable life.

3. No Smiling:

I can’t believe how often I find myself explaining this one as the effects are obvious. You cannot, I repeat, cannot live an unhappy life by smiling all the damn time. Its just not possible. Now granted there are certain circumstances where smiling is inevitable. In situations where another hominid smiles at you for no good reason, give what I call the “3 step stop and drop.” Similiar to the common stop drop and roll system, we can shoo off smiling offenders in 3 easy moves.

• 1. Give a forced, toothless grin at offender. This momentarily puts him/her in a temporary trance and gives you time to move to step 2.
  

• 2. Drop eyes immediately to the ground in shame. The main idea here is to minimize eye contact with the offending hominid.
  

• 3. Get out smart phone so you don’t look like a complete dumbass. It is imperative that the perpetrator know that you have a life outside reality. In this way, he/she knows you are a person of status and must not be disturbed in your busy endeavors.
  

4. Be a Victim:

This is big. If you are to wallow in never ending lethargy and misery for eternity, adopting a victim perspective is crucial. You must understand that you have no control whatsoever in life and that God gave you the shittiest hand out of everybody. Keep thinking like this and I guarantee you will never amount to anything – Which is a fundamental foundation to unhappiness.

5. Stop Using Your Brain:

I know I know, many of you are actually doing a great job at this one but I have to include it anyways. So simply put; stop thinking for yourselves. Accept everything as truth and never ask questions. As an obedient sheep with mush-for-brains, it is your job to consume, eat junk food and watch T.V. Do not learn new skills, do not adopt a healthy lifestyle and most importantly, trivialize all aspirations, all dreams and never, I repeat never read books. Big brother wants you nice and dull and so do the pharmacy’s – which means you should continue to pop your Xanax’s as well. The human body was custom tailored by God to naturally ingest these chemicals. And if that’s not enough to keep popping just trust the doctors and psychiatrists and everyone else who ever told you there was something not right. After all, they have complete authority on matters involving your life.

6. Do Not Take Care of Your Body:

Here is the last and probably most important tip of this post. For true unhappiness to come bubbling to the surface in volumes it is important to completely let yourself go. Eat like shit, drink like shit, and for all eternity wonder why your depressed and feel like shit. Self indulgence is a major player on this one. Big Macs, Compulsive shopping and drug abuse will undoubtedly take you to that next level of misery. Whatever you do, refuse your body and mind what it needs to function properly and instead give it stuff that will ensure a swift downfall. Again this also goes hand in hand with playing the victim. After years and years of this self abuse, you can now claim to be broken, collect a disability check from the government and really kick in the self pity.

And one more thing – Always and I repeat always, take everything way too seriously and way too literally. Until next time.

-Adam

Photo Credit: Ijammin

** This is a short, somewhat controversial post of an observation I had earlier today. I invite you to read all of it and let me know what you think in the comment sections. **

While on my usual afternoon run today, I stumbled upon an interesting perspective that provoked various philosophical questions. So before we continue, I’d like you to imagine two different scenarios involving two individuals and perspectives.

Scenario 1: A young woman at the age of 21 falls victim to a vicious rape carried out by a black male. Again at the age of 25 the same girl is robbed by another black man. Result: The woman develops a skewed perspective of African Americans and inevitably develops a racist point of view.

Scenario 2: A young white girl falls victim to an attempted kidnapping only to be saved in the nick of time by a black male in his 30’s. Later in life she loses her wallet and receives a call by yet another black man who has found her possessions and wishes to return the belongings. Result: The girl develops a skewed outlook on the African American race and just can’t understand how people can be so mean and racist.

Now here’s the good stuff. Reading the above two scenarios who would you say is right and who would you say is wrong? There are basically three ways you can answer this which I will define based on intelligence. A completely ignorant person will favor one scenario over the other, not understanding the relationship between experience and perspective. A semi-intelligent individual, understanding this dualistic nature of humanity, will logically say that either both of them are right or both of them are wrong. But!… A truly wise hominid will conclude that there is no such thing as right and wrong. Right and wrong is neither here nor there because things just are.

Whats going on here?

I know, mind-trip right? What do I mean by things just are? This is certainly a tough pill to swallow for most and I can see all of you shaking your heads in disapproval. Logically there are things in this world that are inherently and utterly wrong, right? Child abuse, rape, molestations and murder are all things that are wrong – are you telling us that these things are not so? My answer to that question is somewhere in the infinite space between “yes” and “no.” Once again, they just are.

Easy to say, yet a seemingly impossible philosophy to put into practice when you are the victim of said monstrosities. But try not to think about it too hard and understand that these things mean nothing until you give them meaning. When you live your life with an understanding that things just are, you strip away the bullshit that so often gets attached to thoughts and emotions. When I say bullshit, I mean trivial words and our “understandings” of things like right and wrong.

This goes back to a general truth that what we think has everything to do with our reality and more importantly, everything to do with how we feel. A belief that operates from a things just are perspective, makes you a person that will never fall “victim” never get “screwed” and more importantly, a person who will never get caught up in the day to day nonsense of “thought.” This does not make you a mindless and spineless zombie. This makes you a wise being who understands the true nature of our existence.

So you believe crimes like murder are OK?

So am I saying that its OK for people to go around committing these acts of filth? No way – But I am not so quick to judge the act as “wrong” when I consider that this person is operating in the world the best he can with the tools he was given. Tools we as a society gave to him. And when its all said and done, it happened and once again things just are. That is life and you might as well accept that which you cannot change. This is true healing. I strongly believe that if everyone understood this and accepted the world as is, these crimes would not take place and we wouldn’t have words like “wrong” or “right.” and diseases like “depression” and “anxiety” – because things would just be – as they always have been and always will. We at one point understood this, but somehow the truth always seems to get masked by Ego, and other nonsensical things.

In the end:

When I contemplate how temperamental our lives really are in the infinite nature of God and all his wisdom, I always feel like we are wasting time doing everything else but just being. That is what matters right? Isn’t that what we are here for? I think Shakespeare said it best – To be or not to be. That is the question. And in the big swing of things, there is nothing more important to understand than this. So as you think about this post and let things soak in nice and deep, understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to go about it. Whether you agree or disagree is trivial. Do you know why? You guessed it: Because things just are. That is how it has always been, and that is how it will always be. Still breathing? Good, focus on that for a while.

-Adam

Photo Credit: NeilsPhotographys

There probably exists tens of thousands of articles written on the Black Dog of depression. In the manic and frantic state that consumed my entire being a year ago, I more than likely read most of them. At least 5 times each, all day long…for what seemed like eternity. Ive been down that dark, hopeless road myself and feel nothing but pain when I think of the beast that walks along the other side, vigilant and violent to anything that could possibly bring peace. Depression is a war, no doubt.

With that said, no war has ever been won without first learning about the enemy. In the process of learning about myself and my mind, I came to understand the nature of the beast. I know how he operates, how he controls us, and most importantly the tactics needed to drive a well sharpened blade right through his cancerous heart with precision accuracy. First a brief disclaimer.

**I am not a doctor and this is not professional medical advice. I am simply an individual who has been down to the depths of depression only to find that the answers to my condition lied not in the hands of “professionals” but in my own understanding. With that said I’d like to start off and set the tone of this post by saying…**

You are not broken!

This is a fundamental concept that you should just accept right now and for the rest of your life. There is absolutely positively nothing wrong with you at all, no questions asked. Got it? There is a drastic misunderstanding in modern society that people break and that “fixing” them is going to take years of therapy, years of medication and its going to be hard hard work. Bullshit. There is nothing to fix and change can happen instantly once you understand the nature of this “temporary confusion” as I like to call it. Lets start off by laying some groundwork shall we?

What is depression?

Is depression a feeling? Is depression a disease? Or maybe a chemical imbalance? The answer is no to all three of those. Depression can be defined quite simply as habituated patterns of negative thought. Thoughts of worrying, thoughts of suicide, thoughts of sadness, thoughts of madness, thoughts of going broke, thoughts of this and thoughts of that. And to top it all off, thoughts about those very thoughts themselves! Phew!

Just imagine trading thoughts for a day with a person who you consider to be positive, outgoing and ecstatic about life. They would come sprinting at you full speed, practically tripping over themselves for trade backs, and you’d be running the opposite direction holding on to theirs for just a little bit longer.

“No wonder your depressed all day with thoughts like that dumbass!” He’d shout. You both would exchange thoughts again and continue on with the cycles of life. Your friend returns to being his happy, enthusiastic self, and you revert back to the limp and soggy waffle you know so well. hehe (; Now we have a foundation which is simple: The content of your thoughts, determines your feelings and emotions.

So is it really as simple as thinking happy thoughts? The answer is yes, it really is that simple, but before we advance to strategies that change thought you need to understand the basics of why you are continuously in a state of depression. Without further Ado, behold…

You are an addict:

Yes, that is right my friends! You are a stone cold fiend! Without you daily goodie fix you would succumb to rabid fits of convulsions and tremors. But Mr. LPB, I don’t even do drugs! Ah, but little did you know that you have the worlds largest pharmacy living right inside your brain. Interesting yes? You have access to a personal drug dealer 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! Your brain has a chemical for every kind of emotion and feeling in the scope of the human anatomy. You have a chemical for anger, one for sad, one for happy, one for stoked, one for horny, one for sexy, one for joy and one for every other feeling you could possibly imagine; each and every one releasing their sweet nectar in accordance to your day to day experiences and patterns of thought.

Overtime your body and mind become addicted to these natural substances and soon begin to make demands – demands that require your brain to produce more of the chemical its use to having. This is why it is so easy to fall back into a depression from a state of happiness. After so many years of negative, depressing thoughts, the body builds a tolerance and soon needs more of the same to achieve that familiar high! Believe it or not, you are addicted to depression. Sounds crazy I know, but with this understanding we can begin to reinforce the positive chemicals and slowly wean off the substances that bring us pain. Much like a heroin addict, you will experience withdrawls and you will feel discomfort as you slowly and consciously kick the habit.

Awesome! So…How do I produce less of this and more of that?

When I fully understood the true nature of my depression and why I was so quick to fall back, immediately my whole mind shifted positively. Just knowing that I was an addict to my own thoughts and to my own patterns was a great relief and for the first time in years I felt strength in myself. (strength chemicals (; For the longest time I was not only in a state of depression, but in a state of fear because I had no idea what the hell was going on inside my brain. I was certain without a shadow of doubt that there was something extremely wrong with me and there was no hope in ever changing. My mind felt weak and fragile. If years of psychotherapy couldn’t fix me I was surely broke forever. I was wrong. With knowledge came understanding and with understanding came peace of mind. It was literally as if God himself finally unveiled his mysterious crystal ball, giving me a brief glimpse into the true nature of mind, body and soul.

More on thoughts…

Thoughts I came to realize, are volatile. Like bubbles in the wind, they come and they go. A thought enters consciousness, a corresponding chemical is produced. The longer the thought, the longer the injection. We do not have to manically interrogate every thought that comes to pass, unless of course it is of positive nature. In that
case we nurture, we love, and we grow. We feel the nectar this thought produces with our whole being and we learn to associate pleasure to the emotion. Initially these good feelings will last only for a few moments, but rest assured they get longer and longer. Over time, we get hooked. We get addicted and our brains begin to naturally produce more of the same. Hardwired to the positive brainwaves baby. Injection after sweet injection, you will soon rise like a phoenix from a dark abyss, ready to own this world and live the life you know you deserve. Here are some practical tips that I started with on my journey.

1. Stop giving so much credence and substance to your thoughts:

Remember, your thoughts are exactly that; Just thoughts. They mean nothing and will always pass through unless you stop them for questioning.

2. Get out and do things you enjoy:

If you were anything like me when I was depressed you avoid many situations like the plague. Step out of your comfort zone and explore this amazing world. Even if that means just getting out of bed. Breaking your old patterns of behavior will also break your old patterns of thought. (You don’t want those hanging around right?)

3. Exercise:

If you ever find yourself in a pit of despair, run until you can’t; and then run some more. Its hard to give substance to negative thoughts when the heart is on the verge of exploding out of ones chest. Studies have shown that aerobic exercise is just as effective if not more so than anti-depressants.

4. Help others:

There is true love in a simple act of kindness. I don’t know what your circumstances are but there is a good chance that there is someone worse off who could use your help. Once again, This is all about getting out of your head and into another state; in this case, one of compassion; A state that can be used to boost and condition those feel good chemicals we talked about.

Conclusion:

If I had to sum this whole post up in one sentence I suppose the following would suffice. Be conscious of your thoughts, keep your mind clear, and know that change is a reality that you have complete control of. That is all. Until next time…

-Adam

Technorati Tags: overcoming depression, happiness, depressed, depression

Before I began Lifeprobono, my life had no direction. I was clinically depressed, could not focus on a single task for more then a few seconds and worst of all, I feared that change was not possible. At times, my state of mind would become so unbearable I could not sit still, let alone at a table in a college classroom and would often leave lectures without any notice. I grasped at anything I thought would make me happy, drugs and alcohol being my go to point man the majority of the time.

Eventually after doing some reflecting in jail, things slowly started to get better for me. I started asking questions as to why things had changed the way they did and quickly became fascinated with the inner workings of the mind. This lead me to many different sources, including countless blogs on the subject of “personal development.” To say I was highly intrigued by what these writers had to say would be an understatement. I was infatuated. So many different points of views and so many amazing, inspirational stories regarding how their personal circumstances had changed for the better.

I became obsessed with reading as much about personal development as I could. But one strange afternoon, I had a euphoric moment where things slowed down and I came to the realization that although I had spent countless hours reading these articles, my life had not changed in the way I thought it would. OK I said, going into an internal dialogue with myself. “This means I’m simply not applying what I have read.” That had to be it! My logic told me that if I wasn’t applying what I was reading then how could I expect change to occur? So that settled it. I was going to read these articles all over again and apply the knowledge within.

The Insight:

Yes! I found the answer to it all! So I went back to my RSS archives that had collected over time and studied the content intensely. Suddenly a wave of confusion wrapped a gripping stranglehold around my thoughts, engulfing my entire mind. What was going on inside my head? As I analyzed letter by grueling letter the writings of those who had made drastic changes, and began to put the experiences they had at arms length, I drew upon one statement that changed my whole view on the subject of change and personal development. The realization was this; “These people have obviously all changed for the better but in many different ways and methods.” Where were the foundations!?

I couldn’t help but think of the old saying “there is more than one way to skin a cat.” I actually went inside my head and thought of all the ways you could skin a cat. I wont go into details but suffice to say I found many. I went back to the blogs again and attempted to find one thing every piece had in common, one similarity that could point to not just an idea or technique, but a foundation. There had to be some catalyst at the genesis of human experience that was driving each individual in the exact same way. I wasn’t concerned with the vehicle but rather the core building blocks of change in its purest form. I quickly found one similarity amongst every post: Every single person who experienced change experienced a change in thought.

So What Are We Doing Wrong?

You may be thinking, wow…BIG BREAKTHROUGH. In fact it is when you consider that our thoughts are at the very foundation of everything and all creation. It appears to be common sense but many have not come to realize this one basic truth and ignorance to any core principle will stop development and learning dead in the tracks. You may have known this fact but when was the last time you were actually conscious of the matter in relation to a problem or difficulty? We are are skipping major details and not getting results we deserve. Now with that said I will carry on to the main thesis of this post. What are we doing wrong both as bloggers and readers and why isn’t change happening? First section is for the readers. So first things first…

1. Too much too fast:

As readers you have to stop reading this shit from time to time! Flooding your mind with the opinions from a thousand men and women is enough to really drive you crazy. You cannot focus on everything. True inspiration flows heaviest in times of complete thoughtlessness. How do you expect to experience the beauty of your intuition and inner guidance when your mind is clouded by mixed thoughts and opinions from others? This leads to our second fault.

2. Accepting things bloggers write as complete truth:

This is a big one. You as an intellectual must question everything. You have a brain of your own so use it! Just because blogger X promotes a vegan lifestyle and does all his/her computing on a Mac does not mean you cant enjoy a hamburger and do all your work from a Linux machine. Do not give up the incredible power of your mind to anybody and always ask questions. You must realize that just because this worked for them does not necessarily mean it will work for you. Learn to take ideas and tweak them in a way that feels right. Nothing is set in stone and you should never see anything as a concrete fact. (Even though everyone else including me personally will often times cite things as being absolute truth.) This is simply human nature. Understand that experience is vast across all walks of life and this is what makes the world beautiful. Still, be vigilant at the gates of your mind.

***The Following items are directed towards writers: (: ***

3. Not building on the core foundations of change:

Yes, you offer an interesting perspective and my thinking has temporarily changed for the good, but what happens when I go back to my old conditioning 5 minutes after I read your post? We are creatures of habit and my behaviors and systematic pathways of thought will not change until you tell me how to change at a core level. The story about how you survived cancer and ran a marathon is inspirational but you are still failing to articulate core techniques about what drove you to change. Do you really know what happened?

4. Too much too fast:

This goes hand in hand with a core truth: The conscious mind can only focus on a limited amount of tasks at a given moment: yet we give our readers “500 ways to increase focus and productivity.” I understand the arguments that can be made to this statement but the truth remains that posts like this oversaturate. Sure, these make for great reads but by the 100th tip, the un-conscious has already automated the reading and the conscious has forgotten the first 95. Is your intent to change an individual or create interesting filler? (Not that the latter is by any means worthless.)

So how do we regroup and move forward from here? I did a whole lot of jabbering on things we are doing wrong but really didn’t dive into how we can make things right. So here is my proposition. We must slow down and go back to the basics. Develop an understanding of the core mechanisms that drive change, and work from the origins. Right now, it feels like we as bloggers are giving the world shingles when they have no roof to nail them to. As the saying goes, give a man a fish….

I think were handing out a lot of fish without really explaining the technologies behind what caught them. Change is systematic and in future posts I plan on hacking together a comprehensive guide on how it all works at the lowest level there is: Thought. I will draw upon my knowledge of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and a few other technologies that are emerging as we speak. For now, suffice to say that the less you think the more things will make sense. Until next time.

-Adam

Photo Credit: Jiaren Lau

I tremble to write such a post in fear that the knowledge within will reduce every other piece of advice to rubble, including mine. Lets admit it; Most personal development blogs we come across these days are sub par, regurgitated and half baked at best. Original content is hard to come by and even those which attempt to offer fresh perspectives are simply by products of the classics. Realizing this truth, there is only one path that you can take; The path back to the timeless, the classic and the legendary. Jim Rohn embodies all three of these key traits and his wisdom is un-surpassed. I proudly introduce my synopsis of Jim’s 5 most essential pieces to the life puzzle. Lets dive right in shall we?

1. Philosophy

Philosophy is what you know. Everything you accomplish in life, all your wildest desires and aspirations began with a simple piece of information that you acted on. Searching for this information is a critical ingredient to your success and despite the popular cliche, ignorance is not bliss! Get all the information you can. Read those books, go to those seminars, listen intently to the wisdom of others and never stop refining. How much time should you devote to philosophy? As much as you can! Become a sponge to the world around you and continuously plant the seeds of success.

2. Attitude

Attitude is how you feel. How do you feel about putting in long hours at work? How do you feel about getting the information? What about society, government and money? What about the universe and God and everything under the sun? Both attitude and perspective will undoubtedly effect your life in the most radical ways. I’m not hear to tell you how to feel about these things because I think you have enough brains to determine a empowering attitude vs a negative counterpart. A lot of this stuff is common sense but strangely we feel the need to search manically for the proper technique. Attitude people, attitude!

3. Activity

So you found the knowledge and developed healthy attitudes towards life. Now what? Get off your lazy ass and do something about it! You can pack all the information you want into that brain of yours and still not get anywhere. Why? Because you failed to take action. You failed to apply and you failed to follow up. Which unfortunately my good friend means you failed at life also. Game over. Knowledge in itself is not power. It is only potential power until you get off the computer or couch and make it happen. Jim Rohn spoke to a group of psychologists in California a while back and had the audacity (as he put it) to tell them what he thought was the number one cause of mental disease in the world. What was that cause? He said it was as simple as being less than you can be. Not giving your all. Knowing all that you can accomplish in life but settling for mediocrity and BEING LESS. We have but one mission in this life; To see what we can do! Are you giving your all?

4. Results

This is the part that comes after the knowledge, after the changes in attitude and after the action. This is where you sit down and ask yourself, “are the changes I made working?” If so, great. If not, maybe you need to go back and refine a belief, or change an attitude, or take more action. The main point here is progress. Have you made progress? There is but one obligation that mankind must fulfill; Make measurable progress in a reasonable amount of time. We do not want to stagnate and every so often we need to check the output of our input and adjust accordingly.

5. Lifestyle

In the end, its all about the lifestyle we create for ourselves. This is where we find our place in society and live in a way that uniquely defines our personality, Ideals, and beliefs. We gather the information, develop empowering perspectives and take the appropriate actions so we can have our cake and eat it too. This part is about the joy, happiness, love, daisies and all those other hippie antics other blogs tell you life is about. Now, a piece of advice from yours truly; Enjoy the ride, live fully, find the meaning, and give back to mankind in a way that perpetuates your legacy.

-Adam

We all want to feel a sense of control over things do we not? Control gives us power, strength and self reliance. Have you ever read the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes? One particular strip portrayed a kind, loving Calvin who carefully built a city out of sand only to manically level the whole creation in the next frame. He had absolute command over his environment and it felt good. When we lose control we become fearful. No control means no choice. No choice means that anything can happen and there is nothing you can do about it. Or is there?

Ok so I lied. You do have a choice. You have a choice no matter what the circumstances, I dont care if your trapped in a bamboo cage in the jungles of Vietnam! There are lots and lots of areas that you will never have any say over. This is a fact of life. The flipside to that coin is that there is one thing, one significant little area of your situation that you can ALWAYS summon complete mastery over when needed. Like a call to arms, the following technique can become a fortified oasis in a barren wasteland of mind games. This mastery manifests itself in the way you respond and perceive your reality.

Some of you may be finding that concept brutally simple but painfully hard to implement. How do you “respond differently” in an emotionally charged situation? Its as simple as looking at your circumstance with a different perspective. I’d like you to analyze the following question and consider its relation to how we respond to the world. How is it that one culture can feel so emotionally distraught and devastated over the death of a loved one yet another can feel completely happy and overjoyed?

The answer is perspective. In one mindset, death is viewed as a loss. In another, the exact same circumstance is thought of as a beautiful part of life and is celebrated as such. Why not tailor your response in a way that benefits you and your state of mind? Interesting huh? A simple change in the way we frame the world can bring a vast array of emotions gushing and bubbling to the surface of consciousness. (Good or bad depending on the frame of course.)

People who can beam a genuine smile on a regular basis are individuals who have mastered this technique of framing. Framing reaches far beyond “positive thinking.” Positive thinking has its place but often distorts and masks the true reality of things. Framing takes on a completely different role, accepting the situation at face value but putting it in different context. A different context means a different meaning. A different meaning means different emotions. By altering the meaning and context we can alter our emotions to achieve the states of mind we desire. Let me give you another example of what I’m jabbering about here.

Over a year ago I was arrested on felony driving under the influence charges. I was sentenced to 6 months in jail. A full spectrum of depressing emotions flooded my mind and body. I felt beaten, that my life no longer had meaning and worst of all I felt completely hopeless in my current circumstance. I soon reached a point where I felt physically sick. Shortly after I decided I was no longer going to be the victim and started making subtle changes in my patterns of thought. If I was to be locked in a cage against my will then I was going to make the best of it. And that I did. I started looking at my surroundings much differently.

The first frame I changed was the way I saw the people around me. “Retarded crack babies” and “degenerate low lifes” transformed into human beings that I could learn from and help. Who was I to pass judgement? I started becoming much more social in my new environment and the time began to tick by a little more passively. I would frequently write letters home for those around me who did not possess the skills to do so themselves, engaged people in deep conversations about their life, and helped a few individuals cope with the new environment. By altering my frame of mind I altered the meaning behind my circumstance. I was released and felt that I had done more good and gained a quality perspective that I could never have learned anywhere else.

It would have been very easy for me to frame the above situation as hopeless and meaningless. In fact, its very easy to put a lot of scenarios in this depressing frame of mind. So with this new knowledge, ask yourself the following: What situations are bothering you right now that could be viewed in a more resourceful frame? I know you can think of a few.

Nelson Mandela is an excellent example regarding the power of frames. A man imprisoned for 27 years, proclaimed innocent and upon his release forgives the men who falsely judged him! Truly amazing. He looked at his circumstances and put the scenario in such a frame that he grew as a result. Next time your in a situation that seems out of your control, reframe the content and see how much control you actually have.

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Your pupils dilate. Her orgasm sends uncontrollable tremors down her legs and your breathing rapidly increases as you simultaneously climax. In these last 5 seconds endorphins are felt at their highest level, pumping sweet nectar throughout your veins. Both of you thrust with everything you have and when no more juice can be squeezed, you roll away, arms and legs spread across the bed. You feel the rush of your heartbeat slowly return to normal when you here the sound. The familiar sound that always follows a good lay.

The room is dark but a quick flick of a white Bic illuminates her face and casts shadows across the room. She has two of them in her mouth. One for her and guess what? One for you. Mmmm. They sizzle in her mouth and she purposely takes her sweet time passing yours over. You lust after the feeling. Taking a long pull, the nicotine enters your bloodstream and… blah blah blah how the hell is this helping me!

Can you relate to graphic description above? Even if you have never indulged in the infamous cigarette after sex the point is not so much the scenario but rather the habit of smoking after (or before) a certain event. Think about when you smoke cigarettes within the context of your everyday routine. Maybe its right in the morning with a cup of coffee, or the second you hop in your car to go to work. Whenever and wherever you choose to lite up you have probably been doing so for years! This is why quitting seems so impossible.

Your mind has been conditioned to this behavior because you have been doing it for years and anything that’s been done that long becomes a programmed response no matter what the case. Meaning if you dont have that cigarette first thing in the morning or right when you get to work your brain is going to go nuts because its something that it has become accustom to. Its kind of like having a friend who for the most part is very passive. One day this friend explodes in a violent fit of rage. You are shocked because this is not how your friend normally behaves. In the same way your mind goes batty when you attempt to change a habit its known for so long. Although the nicotine itself plays a major role in the addiction, 75 percent of your battle will be fought on the psychological front. So, here are a few strategies that helped me really kick the habit.

Change your identity:

And by this I don’t mean prancing around wearing nothing but a blue cape and a red leotard googling for ways to get a new social security number and dental record. This is your personal identity: Who you see yourself as. Are you an adventurer, gentlemen, ladies man, rock star, entrepreneur etc. You were a smoker but you need to be careful identifying your new way of life. There’s a significant psychological advantage in seeing yourself as “someone who chooses not to smoke” as opposed to an “ ex smoker.” Can you see why? The latter assumes you are still attached to your old ways and would make it very easy to give in to the habit. Something you don’t want to do right? You are not a smoker! Choose your identity wisely.

Change your routine:

For the time that you smoked you linked certain situations and scenarios to lighting up. Ill use one of mine as an example. When I was in school I would get off work and drive an hour to campus. Usually I would have to get gas before I left and I would always wait to spark my cig until after I was finished at the pump. When I decided that it was time to quit, pulling away from the station and not lighting up got me jonesing hard. It was almost unmanageable and I had to do something about it. My solution? Fill up before hand that way I wouldn’t have to stop for fuel. What a difference that made throughout the day! Think about the ways you can adjust your routine that will accommodate your new smoke free habit.

Deal with emotional baggage before you quit:

I made the mistake of attempting to quit in the middle of a painful breakup with a former lover. This resulted in me going back to the pack many times. Stress is a major catalyst to smoking and should be minimized as much as possible. Don’t use emotional stress as a reason to light up because it exists no matter where you go. The point here is to consolidate stress as much as you can to maximize your potential for success.

Dont hang around smokers!

Does this one really need that much explaining? If you live or work in an environment where avoiding smokers is difficult, consciously remind yourself why you are quitting. There are so many health benefits to quitting its insane! You will feel so much better and that’s guaranteed! In situations like this hard candies, gum and sunflower seeds can be your best friend. Remind people that you are quitting. Not only will this hold you accountable to your claims but the other smokers may be respectful and choose not to light up around you.

Avoid Alcohol at All costs:

This is the one demon that will keep you smoking like a chimney indefinitely. If you enjoy drinking this will be something that you will have to give up for a little while if you are to ensure success. Do not test these waters my friends.

Exercise:

Get out there and get that blood pumping! Something your body is probably not used to. Theres nothing like going for an intense run during a craving. When your heart gets to the point of exploding out of your chest and your sucking air like a Hoover vacuum, a cigarette will be the last thing you want to stick in your mouth. Your poor heart will thank you down the road.

The surefire way to quitting:

Want to know the one thing that will light a fire under your ass? Take a stroll down to the intensive care unit and observe the patients confined to the oxygen tents. These poor souls crave nothing but oxygen all day long. Their health choices have reduced their hierarchy of needs to the very basics: air. Have you ever took a properly placed blow straight to the solar plexus? Do you know what it feels like to truly gasp for life? Try to put yourself in their shoes and realize that the gruesome death that overshadows their last days on earth are only one of the many ways that tobacco can kill you. Despite what your mother may say, you are not special. This can happen to you if you continue to poison your body.

Wrapping It All Up..

Just do it! Let your success be a living, breathing testament to the unwavering force of true will power. Good luck.

It is no mystery that we all have wants and desires. Such emotion has been pulsing through our very souls since the dawn of time. Although desires started out at a much more basic, primitive level, the concept has not changed. Desire is that evil child in the back of your head relentlessly poking at your brain with a sharp stick whilst dangling your inner-most wants right out of arms reach. You know what you want, its right in front of your face. The reasons why you want it may not be clear but the acute pain of that well sharpened stick, that feeling of failure or fear experienced time and time again are no stranger to you. It bears an unmistakable figure when it shows and the message delivered is always the same: YOU CANT HAVE THIS.

Wow. Read that last one again. Wouldn’t it feel great to take the worlds largest bat and deliver a bone crushing blow to the face of anything that even thinks about uttering those devastating words? To see your adversary on their knees whilst you come down with a freshly sharpened edge, severing the very tongue which uttered such blasphemy. How good would that feel?? Now here’s the kicker, the big secret: You already have the bat and you already wield the sword. You just have to swing it.

Disclaimer:

First off, let me dispel any fantasies you may be holding in your head about what this post is going to do for you. Reading inspirational articles are great and temporarily increase those feel good endorphins you get from letting creative ideas flow naturally but none of that will help you in the long run. You have to actually apply these tactics on a day to day basis to get results! And guess what? It is going to be difficult! If you are looking for instant gratification search elsewhere (Although I assure you that you wont find it.) Alright? First things first..

Get Disgusted!

That’s right! In order to make drastic changes in your lifestyle and to get what you want out of life you need some rocket fuel. This fuel comes in the form of you being absolutely disgusted with your current situation. Disgust is the catalyst behind every major form of change. It was disgust for Britians tyranny that ignited the flame leading to U.S. Independence. Every great triumph in history and in great lifestyle has its origins rooted in disgust. It is not enough to simply be melancholy or unhappy with your circumstances. In order for great change to occur, the present has to be that bad. When you reach your pinnacle of change you will look back and wonder how you could have lived in such a bland disgusting environment.

Figure out what you really want:

Seems like an easy one huh? Ask yourself the following question. What do I really want? Really sit down and think about this one because every ounce of energy you have will be squeezed obtaining these very desires. I sat down one day and wrote the question down on a piece of paper. It took me a long time to realize that what I wanted was rooted in what others wanted for me. Try to think about this question in a quiet place away from influence. Write down things you want most out of life and than ask yourself why you want those things. Reading your list ought to make your heart jump right out of your chest in sheer excitement and passion. No? Refine.

Think as if you already have what you want:

In other words, fake it to make it. You want that Beamer you pass in your Geometro every morning on your way to your minimum wage job? Pretend like you already own it. Look at the cute girl or guy in the car next to you, and beam a smile like you just drove it right off the lot. (Just try not to take corners at top speeds and expect smooth handling You may have read about the law of attraction. This is one of the basic principles in attraction. Think like a rockstar and watch the world roll out the red carpet. The opposite is true as well; Think as if you have nothing to offer and watch the world roll that red carpet right over you.

Stimulate your mind:

Don’t become stagnant. You should constantly be finding new ways to improve yourself. Get physical. Get in shape. READ BOOKS. This is a big one. Want to know one thing that every successful millionaire has in common? A library. Doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. There’s a wealth of knowledge out there just waiting to be discovered by you. Blogs hardly scratch the surface compared to the knowledge contained in your library.

Have faith:

This is huge. You need to have faith that the pieces will fall together accordingly. Without faith you are dead at the first roadblock that comes your way, and believe me there will be many of those. Trust in yourself. Trust that you have the power within you to achieve everything you want out of life. Have faith and the world will build bridges over troubled waters.

Just do it:

Get out there and make it happen. Gather the tools you need and get to work. Procrastination and fear are your worst enemies here. You already have the bat, swing for the fences and let the umpire worry about the hecklers.